Pop dirges

I've been listening to the pop music stations this past week. And I have to say, it all sounds like dirges to me. All these slow, sad, thin-voiced songs about breakups.

I'm hoping the summer brings the strident calls to joy, the witty anthems, the exuberance, the anger. I want Florence and the Machine, P!nk, "Despacito," Beyonce the Killjoys. I want their ilk for the summer.

This current batch of pop artists all sound like they just woke up from an unhappy nap.

Invisible queers

So I'm watching the HBO series Gentleman Jack, which, if you don't already know, is a historical fiction based on the autobiographical diaries of Ann Lister, a landed gentry lesbian of the, erm, I think Victorian era.

I am watching how the show handles who knows, and how they talk about it, and what they think, and how they act. Because this is, after all, based on the VOLUMINOUS diaries of Lister herself. My god, the woman wrote down EVERYTHING. So this is, largely, in her own words. Ish. More or less.

But I am put in mind of the constantly increasing body of knowledge we have about the queers of the past. (That forthcoming Emily Dickinson movie, for instance? Based on Dickinson's letters?) We've ALWAYS been here. And we haven't been invisible. People have ALWAYS known. People have always had to make some sort of peace, or war, or accommodation, for queerness.

That history -- of our existence, acceptance, and daily lives -- keeps getting lost.

"Lost."

Dickinson's biographer destroyed every piece of evidence she could find of Dickinson's queerness, creating the quiet, mousey, Emily of popular imaginings.

"Lost."

In my own life I can see the erasure of the queers of the 70s and 80s, worlds of vibrant culture and of quiet family existence all streamlined into a single narrative. "Gays partied, then AIDS killed them all." And while that narrative is true for SOME aspects of queer life and culture, it's by no means complete.

Every generation has to remake the terms of our existence in the dominant paradigm, and it's fucking exhausting.