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resoluteI think it must be very vexing to my solutions-oriented spouse to live in a household of people whose first emotional response to suggestions for improvements/solutions is "there's no point that will never work I shall lie here in a puddle for the rest of my life."
I hate showering, you understand.
I don’t like how it gets cold, I don’t like water on me, and I DETEST water on my face, especially in my eyes. I have for my entire life.
My spouse asked if we wanted to brainstorm possible mitigations to make showers somewhat less unpleasant for me.
How I felt: What is the point, nothing will ever work, I will just suffer forever, this is the consequence of me being a freak, if I was a normal person I wouldn’t mind showering, this is nothing more than what I deserve.
What I said: Yeah, let’s brainstorm and see what we come up with.
After some thinking, my spouse came up with two things to try. One is to heat the bathroom prior to starting a shower and the other is to wear swim goggles on days I don’t wash my hair.
My spouse: “Do you want to try either or both of these options?”
Me: “I have two replies. First, there is no point because suffering is all I deserve for being a freak and nothing will work anyway so why put in the effort to make changes. Second, yes, let’s do those, because rationally the worst that happens is I gain and lose nothing, and perhaps it might provide a benefit, and because my feelings are self-sabotaging assholes who need to jump in the oubliette.”
I hate showering, you understand.
I don’t like how it gets cold, I don’t like water on me, and I DETEST water on my face, especially in my eyes. I have for my entire life.
My spouse asked if we wanted to brainstorm possible mitigations to make showers somewhat less unpleasant for me.
How I felt: What is the point, nothing will ever work, I will just suffer forever, this is the consequence of me being a freak, if I was a normal person I wouldn’t mind showering, this is nothing more than what I deserve.
What I said: Yeah, let’s brainstorm and see what we come up with.
After some thinking, my spouse came up with two things to try. One is to heat the bathroom prior to starting a shower and the other is to wear swim goggles on days I don’t wash my hair.
My spouse: “Do you want to try either or both of these options?”
Me: “I have two replies. First, there is no point because suffering is all I deserve for being a freak and nothing will work anyway so why put in the effort to make changes. Second, yes, let’s do those, because rationally the worst that happens is I gain and lose nothing, and perhaps it might provide a benefit, and because my feelings are self-sabotaging assholes who need to jump in the oubliette.”
no subject
Date: 2022-11-16 11:46 pm (UTC)Indeed, indeed.
I'm glad you & spouse can communicate!
I've got a technical suggestion, if you're interested.
no subject
Date: 2022-11-17 12:42 am (UTC)This is the middle of a much longer conversation with a number of mitigations already in place and more proposed, the conversation was edited for brevity. But, sure, if you have suggestions, go ahead!
I shower sitting down
Date: 2022-11-17 12:59 am (UTC)...in a resin patio chair (with its legs shortened). Overhead shower wouldn't reach most of my body.
I use a handheld shower. I can clean all my bits without getting my eyes wet at all. Tilt my head forward and wash my hair from the back.
https://www.moen.com/c/bathroom?query=:launchDate-desc:allCategories:bathroom:category:Shower+and+Spa:category:Showerheads has good pictures, you can pay much less at your local DIY emporium.