Everything is fine, I guess

I've been on Lexapro for a couple weeks now.

I have no appetite. I drink a lot of soup, because apparently my body thinks that things I *drink* instead of *chew* are acceptable as food.

So far, what lexapro has done is remove all of my feelings. I'm not depressed, but I'm not anything else, either. And, like, I am a low-affect, low-emotion person all of the time. I have alexithymia and my emotional response is incredibly muted at the best of times. But this experience is a good reminder that there is a significant difference between muted emotions and no emotions!

I'm going to give it the entire month to adjust, but I'm not sure this is helpful.

Basically, I can't find the motivation to do ANYTHING beyond the bare requirements for living as an adult in community with other people. If I lived alone I doubt I would put clean clothes on each day, because why bother?

Switching over to physical health news, we still do not know why my throat is so painful. Talking, eating, swallowing, it all hurts so much. Unless I'm on narcotics! Which are effective at removing the pain! But have their own problems!

I'm going to start a nebulizer antibiotic tomorrow, and see if that helps with the infection and inflammation. Oh, and insurance is still fucking around with my request for biologics.

The sun is shining. Spring is here. I spent a half hour yesterday sitting in the yard listening to the birds. Everything is fine, I guess.

This isn't very exciting or interesting, my apologies. I just can't think of anything good to engage with.