How to feelings???

[resolute]

Apparently many people can identify that they are having a feeling by noticing changes in their body. I mean, obviously, yes, extreme emotion breaks through intended rational affect in this way, of course. But I'm not talking about that, I mean, like, people can both notice and IDENTIFY very slight emotions.

Is there a key? A cheat sheet? A guide? Some sort of spreadsheet or data set or, or, I don't know, a sticker-bedecked vision board? Something, ANYTHING, that just lists out physical symptoms and matches them with the correct emotion?

You know, like:

Eyebrows are itchy = mild sadness resulting from listening to music
Fingers are restless = slight interest in surrounding events
Spontaneous rapid blinking = growing vexation

I beg of you, if you know of a key, please link to it in the comments. I feel that everyone else has a map, and I have a faded vellum scroll with tiny marks on it and no way to interpret them.

Comments

[naomikritzer]

So. I sometimes realize that I am feeling shame or embarrassment because my face flushes.

But then I started having hot flashes and it took me a while to realize that when my face would flush, my brain would start casting around for something I might have just said or done that was embarrassing. I had to explicitly tell myself, THIS IS A HOT FLASH, I AM NOT EMBARRASSED, I AM HAVING A HOT FLASH.

(I also ordered myself some black cohosh gummies and that fixed it, at least for now.)

Re: FWIW

[resolute]

Yeah, my face flushes anytime there is increased circulation in my body. Exertion, enjoyment or excitement, anger, anxiety, whatever. Not a reliable signal of ANYTHING other than an increase in blood flow to my skin.

Dangit.

[ellen_fremedon]

Similarly, when my heart rate shoots up quickly and I become conscious of my pulse in places I usually don't feel it (hands, ears), it usually tells me I'm having a panic attack... or that I'm exercising, in which case my brain starts casting around for things to panic over and usually finds one. Knowing that this happens means I can talk myself out of it some of the time, if my ambient anxiety isn't at a very high level, but if it is I have to trick myself into cardio with long walks or something else that gets my heart rate up very slowly.

So, yeah, in my experience physical sensations aren't a reliable indicator that you are feeling an emotion, let alone which one.

[elisem]

There's a place on my back where tension happens when I am feeling anxiety, but I only usually notice it when I feel it relax later and realize then that I had been anxious about something earlier. Which is not helpful other than a confirmation that it's not happening any more right now.

There's a connection between (symptoms of shock) and (extreme dismay) but it usually only tells me something obvious already.

I have at least managed to pick up a habit of saying "I don't know what I even feel about this, and it will probably be at least tomorrow until I make sense of it," in situations where people know me enough to know that I'm quite serious about that. Which doesn't help me know it faster, but at least reduces a little of the stress on all of us and means I don't have to cast about for an immediate Correct (and Final) Answer About How I Feel About X.

Wish I had something more useful to offer.

[spiderplanet]

I can only give you a backwards chart of thinking I'm having a feeling but then realizing it's some temporary sort of deficiency.

Sometimes I think I'm mad but then I realize that I haven't eaten in a while. Sometimes I think I'm sad but then I realize that actually I'm just in need of a nap.